you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
