she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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