dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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