just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
