if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
