it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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