my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
