Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
