Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
