her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
