So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
