i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
