So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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