And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
