oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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