you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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