final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
