when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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