I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
