shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
