she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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