I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
