Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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