im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
