ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
