I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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