wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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