I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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