i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
