Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
