To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
