wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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