No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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