Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
