Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
