All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you will always have a special place in my vag
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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