In the future we'll all be gay
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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