At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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