OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
