He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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