he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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