I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
