His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
