I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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