evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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