On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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