chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
