I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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