I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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