I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
