why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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