I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
